Right America. Too far. Things we have forgiven you for: – Cheese in tubes. WTF. Get your processed shit out the fridge, get talking to France, and get some Brie or something. Cheese in a tube, you sickos. But we forgave you. – Distasteful Diana movie, which was so shit it went straight to DVD.… Read More Dear America
CONTEXT: Hayley Bloomingdale, heiress of Dunkin’ Donuts (JK, she’s heiress of Bloomingdales) wrote this list to as a guide to help foreign visitors to London. It’s factually incorrect, it’s un-funny and some of it, plain smug. It’s 4am and storming and I read her list and was so mad, I wanted to write back my responses.… Read More Some American heiress wrote this utter crap about Brits, so I’ve added my responses
Here’s a poem I’m writing for you To show you how great is the EU So you’re prepared in the summer To save the UK from a massive bummer. I’m not saying that the Union’s perfect But what’s the alternative if we defect? BoJo and Gove don’t have a tangible plan To present and demonstrate… Read More Ode to the EU 1
Today is a horrible day. And some morons are slagging off Brussels police online. Idiots. This is how I remember Brussels. 🇹🇩❤️ Watching out for the tennis ball stuck in the carvings in one of the arches of the Cinquantenaire. Changing metro at Arts-Loi for Toison D’or. The sound of the ticket machines when you… Read More My Brussels
Dear Tom Mockridge, It’s me again! Vitt! NOT Victoria. Vittoria, 2 ts no c. Might be worth pointing that out to your team. They can’t even get my name right. Here I am. Still disgusted with your company. That isn’t going to change now, nothing you can do will restore my faith in Virgin. HOWEVER.… Read More Another open letter to the CEO of Virgin Media
Last night I had to go to hospital – for something super minor. I walked in, unable to talk due to a swelling in my mouth, and the nurses immediately recognised the problem, CODE BLUE!, and got me to the right room within 30 seconds of arriving. From there, two junior doctors assessed me, dosed… Read More A letter to the NHS, kind of.
Dear Tom Mockridge, I don’t even know where to start. First things first, I need your company to stop writing to me, emailing me, texting me and calling me asking for money. You’re not my ex, get out. I will not be paying you any money, stop harassing me. There is a note on my… Read More An open letter to the CEO of Virgin Media